Wonder

My awesome family has a book club, and I have been able to finally join in since I have finished school. I am loving it! I love to read books and I love to talk to people about the books I have read. ANYWAYS! We are reading a book called "Wonder" by RJ Palacio. So far I am loving it. It is about a boy with a severe facial deformity as he enters middle school - he has been home schooled up to this point. Middle school is brutal anyways and he has it way worse just because he looks different.
I am currently on the chapter that is from the sister's perspective about her brother and there a few things that really resonated with me. I am a sibling of someone with special needs. Although our brothers live with different disabilities, there are still some things, that as siblings we have in common. I wanted to share a few quotes from the book that really stuck with me.

"August is the Sun. Me and Mom and Dad (and in my case, the other siblings as well) are the planets orbiting the Sun. The rest of our family and friends are asteroids and comets floating around the planets orbiting the Sun".
This is our lives. It has been since B was a baby, and still is this way today. Our family has grown a lot and we have a lot going on, but we still orbit around the same Sun. That is just the way our family works.

"I'm used to the way this universe works. I've never minded it because it's all I've ever known"...."This isn't me being noble, by the way: it's just the way I know it is. And this is the way it's always been for me, for the little universe of us".
I can't remember a time when B did not have autism. He always has, and he always will. A lot of the time people tell me that I am a special kind of person because of the way I take care of my brother and that they could never do that. But they are wrong. They could do it, and they would do it because they had to. Just like I have to. We have to. B is a part of our family. That's the way it always has been and always will be. You adapt to your situation. I do not hold one ounce of resentment towards B or my parents because our family universe did not revolve around me.

I am a better person because B is my brother. I have learned a lot, grown up a lot, and loved a lot. In the book, the sister talks about how she has had to fend for herself sometimes because her parents have to help August. I feel like I had to grow up and take care of myself in some ways. I didn't want to be another burden for my parents to have to take on. When I started going through my initial anxiety attacks, I didn't want to say anything to my parents because I was the "good kid" and the "strong kid". The one that never caused problems. It is hard to be in that position. You watch your parents as they worry, work, and care for your sibling. You don't want to add to that. And like the sister in the book says, "this isn't me being noble, but the way: it's just the way I know it is".

I didn't want to write this post to make anyone upset (mom I am saying this for you because I know you still worry about not giving us the attention we deserve) or for anyone to pity me. I just wanted to share some of my insights on being a sibling of someone with special needs. It is not a walk in the park, but it is an uphill walk, and one that I wouldn't trade.

"I'm used to the way this universe works. I've never minded it because it's all I've ever known".